The key to resetting overachievement

Everything was going well for Fleur Marks. Really, really well. She was successful, a high performer, travelled a lot for work, was driven, had a fabulous house and fancy car, wore designer clothes and had three kids she loved with a husband who did the heavy lifting at home. Everything looked fabulous.

That was until the pace that fuelled this ambition triggered a life-threatening health crisis and landed her in what she describes as the “waiting room of death”.

More than 15 years ago, Fleur was diagnosed with a rare, incurable autoimmune disease called sarcoidosis. Over the past few years, she has also had breast cancer multiple times.

In her own words from her recently released first book, The Overachiever’s Reset: “My definition of success went from having it all to just wanting to survive the year. To stand long enough each day to kiss my kids goodnight. To be in a well body – something I’d taken completely for granted my entire life.

“I lost my career identity overnight. I went from agency leader to ‘N/A’ on forms. From someone constantly in demand to someone who couldn’t even get out of bed. It wasn’t just my health that collapsed. Our entire life imploded.”

The 55-year-old has spent the last decade redefining what ambition looks like and is walking proof that sustainable success is possible even when life is anything but certain. Fleur has also learnt there’s a better way to achieve – and not when the cost is you.

She says beneath a polished surface, countless other high achievers are silently exhausted and questioning whether relentless striving is worth the cost. They are trapped in the overachiever’s cycle, an unsustainable pattern where self-worth is tethered to achievement and external validation.

Now she wants to share her deeply personal story with practical tools for those who want impact without implosion. The Overachiever’s Reset will guide readers through areas such as untangling your identity from your achievements and doing the inner work that changes not just how you perform, but who you believe you are as part of redefining success on your own terms.

The author calls the book a professional intervention and a wake-up call for all those people addicted to doing too much or always doing more.

Now Fleur walks along the beach most days, meditates, takes three 10-minute breaks every day and carves out daily time for her own mental and physical care. She still travels plenty and works enough.

After her diagnosis, Fleur left the company she’d been with. Deciding she still wanted to make a big impact, she started her own consultancy. Fleur now runs leadership programs, does masterclasses and coaching as well as speaking engagements.

Not long before the first COVID lockdowns, Fleur, her family and the dogs left greater Sydney and resettled in Byron Bay.

“The big question is, who am I without the title and achievement? I had to redefine that and other things. It was frightening and took me a while to get clear. Then I went about creating my new life.

“When I started telling my story I realised I wasn’t alone and that suffering is part of life and the messy parts of life are where people can relate and connect with you. When I started to share with people I worked with, they started to share more of themselves with me. That really changed our connection and our bond.”

Fleur asks if you’ll chose high impact vs high cost. How would she deliver with impact while not having an optimal body?

“I had to be smart about how I approached my work life and my life. I’m in a waiting room where my body will continue to challenge me and never get over my disease. How do I redefine my ambition within my limitations. This is not slowing down or giving up.

“Choosing conscious joy has been a big game changer. Now I give myself time to have a bit of a play and chose intentional joy. It’s an important part of the reset. We often take ourselves too seriously and need more lightness in our day.”

The Overachiever’s Reset aims to help readers redefine success on their own terms.

Fleur’s book also reminds readers that ambition doesn’t have to go the way of the dodo when resetting. Yes, it might need to look different, but she remains ambitious. This time it’s for the things which serve her and her family best and contribute to her healing.

There is one thing she has refused to give up however – and that’s her passion for sparkly clothes. Fleur will take any opportunity to add a little bit of colour and glitter, like the disco-themed cover of The Overachiever’s Reset. “I love fashion. It’s shallow but I own that.”

The Overachiever’s Reset is out now. (Wiley RRP $34.95)